Like most parents, the first class we started taking my older daughter to was ballet. She loved it and she was able to do her part as a guest in the Nutcracker. It was great and very sweet. Meanwhile my husband was itching for her to do soccer....she's not necessarily into the team sports at the moment and was very clear at the time that she did not want to play soccer, " I only like playing with you, Dad."
One day she asked to take tae kwon do, and we were surprised, but we said sure. To my delight she loved it. What I loved was that it gave us an after school babysitting option. Instead of going to the after school program where I was concerned that she would be hanging out with older kids because that's the type of kid she can be, she would be picked up by the dojang where they would have a lesson, do homework and have structure.
The first time I saw her spare, I didn't know I felt. "I was like what they are really hitting each other." I was a bit uncomfortable. However, after it was all done and I saw the look on her smiling face and how confident she looked all I could was smile back to her b/c I know she was looking for approval. She knew what she was doing and there was no hesitation in her moves. With each graduation ceremony watching her to do her forms and seeing her "stand tall", I came to the realization that I enjoyed watching her and I made sure that I tell her that after every belt graduation. I tell her that that I love watching her look so strong. I want her to be proud of her strength and her ability.
I came across this blog post by Hands Free Mama, in which she quotes a survey:
"College athletes were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that amplified their joy during and after a ballgame. Their overwhelming response: 'I love to watch you play.' "
I think this is great. I know that I do this we we do physical activity and I need to remember this when she's playing her violin. The teacher in me sometimes forgets that I'm her mom and I need to take it easy and praise more. What I love about her is that she will remind me when I'm being a bit too tough.
Me: Ella that was bad playing
Ella: Mom, do you have to say bad? Could you maybe say that it was not that good instead?
Me: Fair enough
I will try and remember to always say this first when it comes to sports or any other activity that my daughters participate in " I loved watching you __________"
I hope that in doing this it will remind them that as long as they do their best that the pressure is off and hopefully opens the door for constructive advice or criticism.
There is a time and place for advice and what you could have done better(and maybe the advice doesn't have to be from a parent and that is okay).
Sometimes telling your kids that you simply love watching them do what they do is all they may want from mom and dad.
One day she asked to take tae kwon do, and we were surprised, but we said sure. To my delight she loved it. What I loved was that it gave us an after school babysitting option. Instead of going to the after school program where I was concerned that she would be hanging out with older kids because that's the type of kid she can be, she would be picked up by the dojang where they would have a lesson, do homework and have structure.
The first time I saw her spare, I didn't know I felt. "I was like what they are really hitting each other." I was a bit uncomfortable. However, after it was all done and I saw the look on her smiling face and how confident she looked all I could was smile back to her b/c I know she was looking for approval. She knew what she was doing and there was no hesitation in her moves. With each graduation ceremony watching her to do her forms and seeing her "stand tall", I came to the realization that I enjoyed watching her and I made sure that I tell her that after every belt graduation. I tell her that that I love watching her look so strong. I want her to be proud of her strength and her ability.
I came across this blog post by Hands Free Mama, in which she quotes a survey:
"College athletes were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that amplified their joy during and after a ballgame. Their overwhelming response: 'I love to watch you play.' "
I think this is great. I know that I do this we we do physical activity and I need to remember this when she's playing her violin. The teacher in me sometimes forgets that I'm her mom and I need to take it easy and praise more. What I love about her is that she will remind me when I'm being a bit too tough.
Me: Ella that was bad playing
Ella: Mom, do you have to say bad? Could you maybe say that it was not that good instead?
Me: Fair enough
I will try and remember to always say this first when it comes to sports or any other activity that my daughters participate in " I loved watching you __________"
I hope that in doing this it will remind them that as long as they do their best that the pressure is off and hopefully opens the door for constructive advice or criticism.
There is a time and place for advice and what you could have done better(and maybe the advice doesn't have to be from a parent and that is okay).
Sometimes telling your kids that you simply love watching them do what they do is all they may want from mom and dad.
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